When Passion Becomes Process

How I stopped chasing the spark and started building the fire

Jun 19, 2025

I grew up surrounded by money.

Not my family’s—but all around us. Classmates had new cars, summer homes, and parents who rarely stressed about bills. They looked like they had it all.

But I never saw joy in it.

There was something missing behind their curated exteriors. Even as a teenager, I felt it: wealth didn’t equal peace. Achievement didn’t guarantee meaning.

🔨 Building Houses, Finding Self

Every summer, our church youth group took mission trips to rural towns in the South. The people had little by way of resource—but so much spirit. We built ramps, painted walls, and repaired roofs.

The days were long. The work was hot. And something about it cracked me open.

I remember finishing one project, soaked in sweat and dust, and thinking:

“This feels more real than anything I’ve seen back home.”

🚫 I Never Bought the Dream

It wasn’t rebellion—it was intuition.

I didn’t care about the corporate ladder. I didn’t want to sacrifice my body or presence to a paycheck. I didn’t even have the words for it then—but I was living out a quiet version of Ikigai:

What you love
What you’re good at
What the world needs
What sustains you

Back then, I didn’t need to name it.
I just needed to follow it.

When was the first time you felt your values didn’t quite fit the world’s expectations?

🌾 My Early Jobs Were a Clue

I wasn’t ambitious—at least not in the way guidance counselors wanted.

I washed dishes. I caddied. I did manual labor.
But I loved it.

Caddying, in particular, was quiet but complex: reading people, adjusting to rhythms, memorizing terrain. It wasn’t just a job—it was a kind of apprenticeship in systems thinking. I just didn’t realize it yet.

🔓 The Autonomy Breakthrough

Massage school was supposed to be a stopgap—buying time while I figured life out.

But I fell in love with anatomy. With systems. With autonomy.

No boss. No clock-in. Just my own effort, my own time, my own vision.

It wasn’t flashy. But it was free.

🧭 The Real Compass

Even after starting a family, that inner compass never disappeared.

Sure, I flirted with “shoulds.” I compared.
But I always came back to the same question:

Am I doing something that feeds my soul and serves others?

That question still leads.

🔁 From Burnout to Integration

For years, I thought I had a problem.

I’d get obsessed with a project—then lose interest.
Hobbies, jobs, even creative work. I’d burn bright… and fizzle.

But eventually, I saw it clearly:

I didn’t love novelty.

Once something became predictable, my spirit disengaged. Not because I lacked discipline—but because I was ready to go deeper.

🧠 Meditation Taught Me How to Stay

Meditation didn’t just bring peace.

It changed my attention span.
It let me stay in the process—even when it was hard.

And that ability?
It gave birth to something I never had before:

🗂️ My Obsessions Became Systems

When I built my Notion dashboard—specifically my Pillars, Pipelines & Vaults system(thanks August Bradley)—I finally saw myself clearly.

My values became actions.
My goals became patterns.
My energy became visible.

Budgeting followed next. Not out of duty—but reverence.

Every dollar became a data point.

Spreadsheets?
Nope…Sovereignty.

🔍 Where in your life have you abandoned something—not because it failed, but because it plateaued? What might still be growing under the surface?

🌊 How Flow Came Back

I used to chase flow—those magical moments where time disappeared.

But now?

I find it in:

Chopping wood
Designing workflows
Pruning trees
Budgeting with presence
Writing with care
Sitting still and listening

Each is a node in a larger system—feeding something real.

🌱 Passion is Not Always a Fire

Sometimes it’s a forest.

Slow-growing. Deep-rooted. Self-sustaining.

When we build regenerative systems—internally and externally—they start to give back. They hold us when the spark dims. They carry us when willpower fades.

Structure doesn’t kill passion.

🧱 The Real Secret: Design Your Ecosystem

I don’t always wake up fired up.
But I don’t need to.

Because I’ve built:

Containers for energy
Patterns that reflect values
Systems aligned with my soul

The thing no one tells you?
You don’t have to choose between passion and process.
You just have to know how to build.

🤖 Try this AI prompt:
“Act as a regenerative systems guide helping me explore one area of my life where I’ve resisted structure—thinking it would limit me. Start by asking: What’s one thing I’ve avoided organizing or designing because I feared it would kill the joy? Then help me imagine a system that would protect that joy, not stifle it. Go slow. Ask one question at a time.”

🛠️ Final Reflection

What structure in your life currently feels lifeless?

🌀 Could it be reshaped into a sanctuary—
not a cage, but a place where your passion lives and breathes?

💬 I’d Love to Hear From You

What part of this resonated?

Have you built systems that protect your passion?
Are you still searching for them?

📬 Want More Like This?

I write about regenerative living, alignment, systems that serve the soul, and how to build a life you actually want to live.

→ Subscribe here if you haven’t already.

Be well and talk soon!
Matt